Report by Gerry McDonnell

I’ve really enjoyed the festive break. Unlike the vast majority of my contemporaries, I resisted the temptation to get drunk each night time on Christmas Day, I collapsed at lunchtime.

Frank Lampard is also a fan of the occasional swift 1. A Spanish chauffeuse has alleged that the Chelsea gentleman ‘took a even though to finish’ as a outcome of a champagne binge I just hope his shooting was significantly less erratic than in the Premiership.

A bad week is about to get even worse for the chubby midfielder. The champions have been leaking objectives considering that John Terry stole my patented ‘I can’t come to function today, i’ve got a undesirable back’ line a Fulham win at the Bridge is basically also massive at 20/one.

I refuse to waste cash on a breathalyzer kit I uncover the ‘how huge is the lady i’m considering sleeping with’ check a much far more exact guidebook to intoxication. I might have been paraletic when I met the wife but it really is in relative sobriety that I suggest a bet on Tottenham at 7/four to see off Liverpool.

Losses are like a Spanish driver, you really should never ever chase them after a couple of beers. Newcastle have charge me a modest fortune in recent weeks I’m fighting the temptation to lump on Everton at a beguiling six/5.

I need to congratulate the Toffeemen on the surprise result of the time, a Jose Mourinho apology was buying and selling at one hundred/1 on the exchanges. It’s quite considerably accepted now that Andy Johnson does not go down, a policy I wholeheartedly concur with. AJ can open the scoring at an upstanding 5/1.

The loss of Henri Camara would be a blow below normal conditions, but when it leaves Emile Heskey top the line, it’s bordering on a catastrophe. Watford can shock the Latics at 17/10.

I are inclined to believe of myself as a position-model lots of females have looked up to me. I like my initial goalscorers like I like my women Young. Ashley can bang in the very first aim at an ample 17/2.

I’ve often been a fan of Eskimo culture. I doubt that there’s any fact in the myth that they used to cast out their elderly, but I stay a substantial supporter of the notion. Sir Alex formally gets to be a pensioner on New A long time Eve, three factors against Perusing at one/five will be a welcome present.

Charlton haven’t identified the net in any of their very last four conferences with Aston Villa and that’s when they had been half respectable. At the time of composing, Charlton have been on their 3rd supervisor of the season the Villa can request the Charlton board yet another query at thirteen/8.

I am a definite optimist. If a pint glass is half complete of lager, I don’t feel of it as fifty percent empty I just pinch it. Alcohol theft is not cool, backing Bolton at evens to beat Pompey without doubt is.

Manchester City will struggle to score at Upton Park. Anton Ferdinand will actually have Dickov in his pocket, Samaras seems to be out of his depth and Vassell only scores in opposition to the Villa. The Hammers are nailed on at 5/4.

Blackburn have introduced that Robbie Savage has been tied up in a ‘golden handcuffs’ offer. To my deep and sincere regret, that is only a metaphor. The even income about a Rovers win about Boro will soften the blow.

Would it be overdramatic to claim that Cesc Fabregas is probably the Premiership’s best at any time player? It would be if you bellowed it out whilst frantically waving your arms. You’ll be shrieking like Frank Lampard’s new driver if you skip out on Arsenal at 8/15 at Bramall Lane.

This week’s accer is so easy, it really is going to oblige with or with out a bottle of bubbly. Aston Villa, Blackburn, Bolton and Everton are the certain-fire choices, the payout is a sparkling 20/one.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell is a professional odds compiler, journalist and rescuer of modest orphans.